It’s weird to be vulnerable and admit that a part of me simultaneously wants to be recognized for some greatness without having the courage to do something. To want to be succinctly and effectively understood for who I am whilst only ever manic pixie dream girl implying my way to being thought of as “cool” or “academic”
this is such an astute reflection of the self awareness that comes with signaling your identity via taste and having to bridge the gap between that implied identity and the reality of DOING something… i feel as though i’ve fallen into a trap of being understood the way i want to be, but not having the will to actually fulfill that identity. thank you for sharing <33
no bc i love and live for your writing. i was just squealing when i saw that i was in your further viewing again !! i missed your writing when you were gone <3
recently I've been feeling similar! oftentimes we don't realize how draining and frustrating yet beautiful creating things can be... thank you for sharing :)
“It’s weird to be vulnerable and admit that a part of me simultaneously wants to be recognized for some greatness without having the courage to do something.” I felt this! I’ve actually ranted about the creative process on my own IG stories (and one I’ll probably attempt to expound on more here) but one thing I give myself grace for is inspiration/motivation to start and finish things. Both because every creative does, and not everything is meant for public gaze (I.e,, a piece you may never put out) But also because I finally realized that inspiration was never going to come consistently enough to meet my creative goals. So I’ve found that simply “setting a writing/creative appointment” with myself and just sitting in the chair with a notebook, even to brainstorm or make a list of words I like would build enough momentum to get it to the next stage etc. It is unfortunately like that aphorism about exercise (you’ll never feel like it but once you do you’ll rarely regret it) haha. I definitely also think discipline is something the world doesn’t credit creatives enough with, because trying to harness creativity (such a magical, amorphous thing) within deadlines and time constraints is a feat in itself. Great read!
I’ve felt every single thing you articulated here and it’s incredibly comforting to know this is a shared experience! I struggle so much with things I want to create just staying in my mind, where I think and think about them but never actually DO it (probably because the version of it thats in my head is already perfect and I don’t want to deal with the real messiness of the art process). Thank you for sharing!
It’s weird to be vulnerable and admit that a part of me simultaneously wants to be recognized for some greatness without having the courage to do something. To want to be succinctly and effectively understood for who I am whilst only ever manic pixie dream girl implying my way to being thought of as “cool” or “academic”
this is such an astute reflection of the self awareness that comes with signaling your identity via taste and having to bridge the gap between that implied identity and the reality of DOING something… i feel as though i’ve fallen into a trap of being understood the way i want to be, but not having the will to actually fulfill that identity. thank you for sharing <33
no bc i love and live for your writing. i was just squealing when i saw that i was in your further viewing again !! i missed your writing when you were gone <3
recently I've been feeling similar! oftentimes we don't realize how draining and frustrating yet beautiful creating things can be... thank you for sharing :)
“It’s weird to be vulnerable and admit that a part of me simultaneously wants to be recognized for some greatness without having the courage to do something.” I felt this! I’ve actually ranted about the creative process on my own IG stories (and one I’ll probably attempt to expound on more here) but one thing I give myself grace for is inspiration/motivation to start and finish things. Both because every creative does, and not everything is meant for public gaze (I.e,, a piece you may never put out) But also because I finally realized that inspiration was never going to come consistently enough to meet my creative goals. So I’ve found that simply “setting a writing/creative appointment” with myself and just sitting in the chair with a notebook, even to brainstorm or make a list of words I like would build enough momentum to get it to the next stage etc. It is unfortunately like that aphorism about exercise (you’ll never feel like it but once you do you’ll rarely regret it) haha. I definitely also think discipline is something the world doesn’t credit creatives enough with, because trying to harness creativity (such a magical, amorphous thing) within deadlines and time constraints is a feat in itself. Great read!
Thank you oh so much for sharing. This means the world to me and I'm glad you can connect :+)
I’ve felt every single thing you articulated here and it’s incredibly comforting to know this is a shared experience! I struggle so much with things I want to create just staying in my mind, where I think and think about them but never actually DO it (probably because the version of it thats in my head is already perfect and I don’t want to deal with the real messiness of the art process). Thank you for sharing!